rain

some people think that rain totally ruins their day but i beg to differ. i absolutely love the rain. i love how it is cold and i get to bundle up in layers and layers of clothes. i love curling up by the fire, drinking hot chocolate, and watching movies all day. rain is also fun to jump into the puddles it makes. i dont know about you but rain is not a downer but i disagree completely.

bottled up

why is it that i keep things bottled up inside?? why is it that i do not open up to people easily?? why is it that when something is bothering me i put up a front?? or even if people can tell, i still keep it to myself?? i found to realized that as a part of my personality and my past that i tend to withhold information about myself as if it was hostage and held for ransom for someone who could ask the right questions. now do not get me wrong, one can usually tell when something is bothering me because it is written all over my face but nine times out of ten when asked if i am okay my immediate response is, "im fine." for the people in my life that know me well, they can tell when i am just putting up a front and saying that but for people who just ask because they have been around me long enough to know that i am usually an outgoing, bubbly person, that something is up when i am quiet.
i have keep things bottled up like this for as long as i can remember. i guess one can say that i have learned to be like this from people who are like this themselves. eventually what is bothering me will come out but until then i keep them bottled up.

"according to him. . ."

i recently heard a song the other day by micheal jackson's lead guitarist Orianthi titled "according to him." the song starts off talking about how an ex boyfriend used to think that she was not good enough, a mess, late all the time and just not good enough for him. as the song goes on it talks about another guy and how according to him she is beautiful, incredible, he cant get her out of his head. and according to him she is funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted. how everything is opposite and how he is into her for everything she is not according to her ex. as i listened to the song and began to think about the lyrics, i started to think about my romantic relationship and how he thinks that i am beautiful, incredible, funny, irresistible. and i started to think about how other guys would say that those are my flaws but according to him im everything he has ever wanted. i realized that i am so blessed to have him in my life and i would not change it for anything because according to him, those other guys will realize what they lost.

family is everything

family: any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins. family means the world to me especially around the holidays when i get to go home for a long period of time. my family is ridiculously huge which is understandable because i am of italian and mexican decent. so around the holidays my house is always full of people who are always competing to be heard amongst everyone. therefore my house continues to grow louder and louder with hand gestures to match but i would not have it any other way. it would not be home if there were not dozens of people talking at once always using there hands with little kids running around outside. i absolutely love my crazy, big, loud, hand gesturing family and i can not wait to see them.

faith

"now faith is the substance of things heard of, the evidence of things unseen." Hebrews 11:1 the BIBLE teaches that "if you have faith as a mustered seed, you can move mountains." faith is the foundation of what we live by. if we do not have faith in GOD and the power that only HE has and only HE can offer, what good is having faith in something at all?? faith is having courage to believe in something that one can not see, faith is having the courage to believe in something that is not tangible, faith is having courage to believe that GOD is preparing a place for us in HEAVEN and someday we will be dwelling with HIM forever! but until one has faith, one can never see the exciting, thrilling, unfathomable GOD that deserves to be worshiped everyday of our lives. "faith is the SUBSTANCE of things HEARD OF,the EVIDENCE of things UNSEEN."

i cant

growing up these two words were not allowed to be in my vocabulary. the words "i cant" were not allowed to come out of my mouth, especially being a little daddy's girl athlete. if i ever used those two words together in the same sentence, my dad would give me the look and he would make me try even harder to succeed. even though at the time i did not understand why my dad would push me so hard to train and be good at sports, i realize now that he trained me and pushed me because he knew that i could be good. the words "i cant" in a sentence are not used by me that often because when they are i picture my father's face and him saying, "i do not know those words, keep going." now there is a saying that i like to use, "i can because i want to, and i want to because you said i cant."

good enough

have you ever felt like nothing that you ever do is good enough?
that no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you push yourself, no matter how much pain you are in; it still does not matter because you are not good enough. no matter how pretty you are, no matter how skinny you are, no matter how you dress; it still is not good enough. no matter how athletic you are, no matter the skill you obtain, no matter how much practice you put in, no matter all the sweat and tears; your still not good enough.

remember this "if God is for you, who can be against you." romans 8:31

"well if thats love, it comes at much to high a cost."

what is love?

love can be described in many different ways and when you are young love is what you see in movies. two people meet, fall in love and live happily ever after right. that is what we believe but love goes much deeper then that. GOD designed love to be precious between individuals, not for your heart to be tossed around in waves of heart break. GOD says, "and the greatest of these is love," and we are to love each other as CHRIST loves us.

i encourage you to soften your heart to the people that have hurt you, to love even though love may not be returned, to let CHRIST shine through you to reach someone who has never seen what love looks like and to be ready to defend why love never fails.

" i am a part of a team..."

"i am a part of a team. i rely on it, defer to it and sacrifice for it. because it is the team, not the individual that is the ultimate champion." Mia Hamm

what is your definition of a team? would you rely on it? defer to it? or sacrifice for it? being a part of a team does not mean that you are the star player that everyone loves but instead, that you are on that team to help your teammates to become the best. to strive for excellence because "excellence is not a singular act but a habit. you are what you do repeatedly." Shaquille O'Neil to push your teammates to their limits because in the end it is not whether you win or lose, it is how you played the game. and i would rather walk off that volleyball court knowing that i gave my all and left it all on the court, then to walk off knowing that i could of pushed myself harder.

my grandma used to tell me after hard games that i lost, she would say, "if you have done your best and given your all and still not have succeeded, at least you did not fail."