rain

some people think that rain totally ruins their day but i beg to differ. i absolutely love the rain. i love how it is cold and i get to bundle up in layers and layers of clothes. i love curling up by the fire, drinking hot chocolate, and watching movies all day. rain is also fun to jump into the puddles it makes. i dont know about you but rain is not a downer but i disagree completely.

bottled up

why is it that i keep things bottled up inside?? why is it that i do not open up to people easily?? why is it that when something is bothering me i put up a front?? or even if people can tell, i still keep it to myself?? i found to realized that as a part of my personality and my past that i tend to withhold information about myself as if it was hostage and held for ransom for someone who could ask the right questions. now do not get me wrong, one can usually tell when something is bothering me because it is written all over my face but nine times out of ten when asked if i am okay my immediate response is, "im fine." for the people in my life that know me well, they can tell when i am just putting up a front and saying that but for people who just ask because they have been around me long enough to know that i am usually an outgoing, bubbly person, that something is up when i am quiet.
i have keep things bottled up like this for as long as i can remember. i guess one can say that i have learned to be like this from people who are like this themselves. eventually what is bothering me will come out but until then i keep them bottled up.

"according to him. . ."

i recently heard a song the other day by micheal jackson's lead guitarist Orianthi titled "according to him." the song starts off talking about how an ex boyfriend used to think that she was not good enough, a mess, late all the time and just not good enough for him. as the song goes on it talks about another guy and how according to him she is beautiful, incredible, he cant get her out of his head. and according to him she is funny, irresistible, everything he ever wanted. how everything is opposite and how he is into her for everything she is not according to her ex. as i listened to the song and began to think about the lyrics, i started to think about my romantic relationship and how he thinks that i am beautiful, incredible, funny, irresistible. and i started to think about how other guys would say that those are my flaws but according to him im everything he has ever wanted. i realized that i am so blessed to have him in my life and i would not change it for anything because according to him, those other guys will realize what they lost.

family is everything

family: any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins. family means the world to me especially around the holidays when i get to go home for a long period of time. my family is ridiculously huge which is understandable because i am of italian and mexican decent. so around the holidays my house is always full of people who are always competing to be heard amongst everyone. therefore my house continues to grow louder and louder with hand gestures to match but i would not have it any other way. it would not be home if there were not dozens of people talking at once always using there hands with little kids running around outside. i absolutely love my crazy, big, loud, hand gesturing family and i can not wait to see them.